Friday, March 2, 2007

Once upon a time

Once upon a time, I was fascinated by BGR of people of my own age. I have never been interested to know a guy.

There was time when I was totally embarrassed by the fact that people thinks that I have something with a good guy friend. But it was resolved with a little open discussion between me and him. Then, our relationship seems to have gone a step ahead. Something that normal good friends wouldnt do but we did it. The IT that will make my parents and my whole family coming after me and him with knives and guns for doing it. We will be so dead. Somehow this IT was easily forgotten by me.

My ever so weird characteristic. Extreme forgetfulness.

Anyway... my first attempt of a boyfriend proved to be disasterous and totally failure. It was not only weird that my family seems to be approved and yet totally against it. Nevertheless, it flopped and we didnt make it to the happily-ever-after. I been bitter, ignorant and depressed. I wonder if I have truly get over it.

Then, I ventured into my first ever crush experience....

I had day-dreamt of guys that I admired...but they just arent as serious so I dismissed those as day-dreams and not crushes...

this time,I seriously considered this guy as the one for me. But I was destroyed when I saw him holding her hand or was it she holding his hand. I was depressed by what was happening that I was completely moodless and depressed for a couple of days. as ever, my sense of positiveness shone thru and I recovered fast

Sensing an extreme urge to vomit due to the over-the-top compliment of my positiveness... Bluek...

Occassionally I let myself build up hopes and then let the hopes be crushed when I see more development between him and her. Sucks big time. Depression hits me each time this happens and I will pour it out to my few advisors so that I will get over it.

Swearing that I will get over this and start my life anew... I completely accept the fact that me and him will never be me and him after a certain revelation from him.... I swear that I will not be desperate and let nature takes its course.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know you'll find the right HIM! You will. I may take forever but in the end that special someone will be MORE than worth waiting for. I hope it dosen't take too long for you. I wish you the VERY best. ~Lloyds Boy~

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