Boys Before Flower

It is actually Meteor Garden... Hana Yori Dango... In Korean.

And so, Koreans decided that they will have their own version of Meteor Garden. Many wonder if they will be able to surpass the two other versions. I mean, come on, we all know the story already...

I havent been interested enough to watch it but ... after seeing quite a number of posts on how it is very interesting, I decided to give it a try.

Ermmm.. First part of Episode 1... I guess the way Koreans talk is one of the interesting part. All the 'grrr' and 'aigooo' are quite funny and expressive lor.

Guess I will watch the rest tonight.

Manga

I have been reading manga recently. Reading too much actually. The most recent one is Ouran High School Host Club. I believe one of the cousins has been reading this as well. It is about a group of super rich boys that formed a club to accompany rich girls and one of the members is actually a girl.

I am actually more into reading romance manga and this manga has a very vague relation to romance. It is more into the friendship between the members and how they help others in their everyday lives. So, despite of the lack of romance element, I find myself reading more and more each day – perhaps not engrossed as when I was reading romance manga though.

There was a chapter that I read yesterday. It is about not wasting unnecessary food. It is funny to see the group of boys experimenting with different unlikely combination of food. They want to find out what soup that has their vice principal enchanted long ago. Despite of the vice principal’s obvious warning not to waste food, they just went on to waste whole load of food. Finally, the girl in the group said it outloud that they should not be wasting food and that’s when they realized their mistake…

Then again, why was the vice principal unable to forget that wonderful soup? It was revealed in the end that it was because the person who cooked the soup is the person he fell in love with.

Ah! Talking about not wasting food, do read about holodomor.

Is it just me?

I am thinking that I am becoming more and more disrecpectfultowards my parents. I am getting more and more agitated with their actions and attitude.

I wonder if it is because of communication problem. We dont really talk. We hardly talk. Somemore, I feel like my opinion does not matter.

Constantly get put off by them. I hate it.

Could it because I have been living alone for too long?

New Year

It is a new year. Perhaps I should have some new resolutions this year. Be a better person. Try not to be resentful of things. I think I ended year 2008 with a sense of negativity. Not good. I want a different and better year.

With a sense of optimism, I went on a shopping trip. Constant reminding myself to be more open, more receptive to different ideas, more energetic…

I guess I did accomplish my goals. I was able to buy quite a number of pieces. Next is to hope that I will be able to wear these pieces.

The regretful thing might be because of I have not managed to purchase a nice pair of jeans. I am quite particular when it comes to jeans. I need assistance. I definitely know that I cannot wear skinny jeans because my leg shape is not suitable for such jeans. I might end up looking like having two elephant legs.

But skinny jeans with Boots will look so nice… If I have skinny legs.

Instead, I am more open to wearing jeans that has a little bell-bottom… low cut… has a bit of stretchy material… But why is it so hard to find such jeans?

Though I have to admit it that it is also partially because of my finance. Too little finance to satisfy my enormous spending habit. I am starting to want to sign up for a credit card so that I can spend more. Gasp!

Misunderstood and Accusation

Know the feeling of being accused... being verbally attacked?

Was I just too sensitive about it? I am not so sure. It just felt like I was under attack and I couldn't defend myself. Now that I think about it. I am not going to take back what I said. That is what I think and if it doesn't suits her, then that is her problem. I should not be bothered by it.

Another matter is with the recent accusation of the suspicion of me being planted with some curse. What kind of bullshit is that? And then trying to get me to go to this someone who is said to be able to detect the curse and remove it. I am not going. No way. Like another someone has told me, if I feel fine, then I shouldnt even give this a thought.

Hmm.. Sometimes knowing more is not necessarily better.

Suddenly

I was suddenly overwhelmed by the resentment of certain attitudes...

But.. I concluded that I am actually not resentful but jealous. Jealous of other people's good fortune.

I wish I can win the lottery so that I dont have to worry financially for some time period. But this is just me being a lazy bum. I am becoming more and more lazy actually. Sheeeshhh...

So.. being a lazy bum, I am also very dependent on others and I expect people to be totally supportive of me. I get frustrated when I feel that there isnt enough support. Darn.. I know I shouldnt...

What's wrong with me?

Up till now, each time I tell people about my financial problem... About how I have to pay for so many things at the end of each month. End of the month isntead of the beginning of each month because my salary comes out at the end of the month and it is almost gone before the start of the month. Makes sense?

Anyways... despite of not paying for my petrol (actually, i do sometimes)... I still manages to drain all my salary.

Almost everyone I have talked about this critisized me and suggested that i cut down on this and that. Anything that I am paying is my own fault that I am paying for it and so I should not have handphone. I should not have Astro. I should not have eaten so much food. That way, I will definitely be able to save money.

Handphone. No need to have it. Why pay for the handphone charges? Pointless!

Astro. You dont need the luxury of having Astro. Cancel it! Who ask you to pay for the two decoder account. Wait! Now I am paying for three decoders. Stupid! You dont watch so dont subscribe.

Food. Why go out to eat? Prepare your own food. Bring your own food. Why spend the money outside?

What? I also give money to my younger brother? That one you should. It is your responsibility.

Time to retaliate.

Handphone? no need for it? Dont joke with me. People blame me when they cant contact me because my handphone ran out of power. So imagine if i dont have a handphone. Then, you wills ay use less. Call less. Dont use the registered line that you use now. Yea, right! Previously when I was using prepaid, even though I live with rm50 each month. Half of the time I was suffering of low credit because I had to make calls to Brunei and Peninsular Malaysia. I was blamed for not reloading my handphone credit. Now... I am using registered line - my expenditure is abut rm60 each month. I consider this as a necessity and reasonable for me.

Astro? I dont watch? This house is supposed to be my house. My sanctuary. I am willing to pay for my decoder. But the other two? People said that I am stupid to pay for that two. So stupid. Yea, I am. But i am not paying for it this month. No more.

Food. Prepare the food myself? You are supposed to go out to buy the food before you can actually prepare the food. So... it is supposed to be cheaper. Great... I still need to pay for them and I dont feel any cheaper. Get my mum to prepare me food? Quite some time ago, she did that and I had food poisoning twice in the same year due to the 'freshness' of the food. I am phobia-tic of overnight food now. i spend twice the amount on food whenever younger brother come back home.

My responsibility to give him the money? Why is it only reponsibility when I also have an odler brother who gives none to him? who also do not give his share fo the Astro payment.

My monthly frustration. Each month I look at all the bills in teh house and have to deal with all that. I ask for financial help and I got none. None!

There was a time when I was completely broke. I straight forward spoke out that I am totally broke. And guess what? I was completely ignored. My younger brother also voiced out that he is broke a short while after I have mentioned my situation and get the money instantenously. What the fuck?

Air tickets... I have been purchasing younger brother's tickets to come home and basically get none of my money back. What? What is that talk about paying me back? I dont see any!

I am thankful for the sponsorship for straightening my hair...the allowance when I went travelling to Korea... even the offer to get me a new handphone..

I have decided that I will not be paying for Astro this month. Not money to younger brother too. I am too broke. I have once again drain all of my cash before the new month has even arrived. Within one day, my salary is totally gone. I am following the advice of you people. I will not give any to anything else if I cant afford it. Fine. Then this is what I am doing

But I cant help to feel so frustrated and agitated when my parents messaged me a sms of someone's details. expecting that I know what the hell they are talking about. telling me to buy a over rm1000 air ticket for them.

I am just so agitated now. I am just so upset now. This is once-a-month thing. I hate it.