What's wrong with me?

Up till now, each time I tell people about my financial problem... About how I have to pay for so many things at the end of each month. End of the month isntead of the beginning of each month because my salary comes out at the end of the month and it is almost gone before the start of the month. Makes sense?

Anyways... despite of not paying for my petrol (actually, i do sometimes)... I still manages to drain all my salary.

Almost everyone I have talked about this critisized me and suggested that i cut down on this and that. Anything that I am paying is my own fault that I am paying for it and so I should not have handphone. I should not have Astro. I should not have eaten so much food. That way, I will definitely be able to save money.

Handphone. No need to have it. Why pay for the handphone charges? Pointless!

Astro. You dont need the luxury of having Astro. Cancel it! Who ask you to pay for the two decoder account. Wait! Now I am paying for three decoders. Stupid! You dont watch so dont subscribe.

Food. Why go out to eat? Prepare your own food. Bring your own food. Why spend the money outside?

What? I also give money to my younger brother? That one you should. It is your responsibility.

Time to retaliate.

Handphone? no need for it? Dont joke with me. People blame me when they cant contact me because my handphone ran out of power. So imagine if i dont have a handphone. Then, you wills ay use less. Call less. Dont use the registered line that you use now. Yea, right! Previously when I was using prepaid, even though I live with rm50 each month. Half of the time I was suffering of low credit because I had to make calls to Brunei and Peninsular Malaysia. I was blamed for not reloading my handphone credit. Now... I am using registered line - my expenditure is abut rm60 each month. I consider this as a necessity and reasonable for me.

Astro? I dont watch? This house is supposed to be my house. My sanctuary. I am willing to pay for my decoder. But the other two? People said that I am stupid to pay for that two. So stupid. Yea, I am. But i am not paying for it this month. No more.

Food. Prepare the food myself? You are supposed to go out to buy the food before you can actually prepare the food. So... it is supposed to be cheaper. Great... I still need to pay for them and I dont feel any cheaper. Get my mum to prepare me food? Quite some time ago, she did that and I had food poisoning twice in the same year due to the 'freshness' of the food. I am phobia-tic of overnight food now. i spend twice the amount on food whenever younger brother come back home.

My responsibility to give him the money? Why is it only reponsibility when I also have an odler brother who gives none to him? who also do not give his share fo the Astro payment.

My monthly frustration. Each month I look at all the bills in teh house and have to deal with all that. I ask for financial help and I got none. None!

There was a time when I was completely broke. I straight forward spoke out that I am totally broke. And guess what? I was completely ignored. My younger brother also voiced out that he is broke a short while after I have mentioned my situation and get the money instantenously. What the fuck?

Air tickets... I have been purchasing younger brother's tickets to come home and basically get none of my money back. What? What is that talk about paying me back? I dont see any!

I am thankful for the sponsorship for straightening my hair...the allowance when I went travelling to Korea... even the offer to get me a new handphone..

I have decided that I will not be paying for Astro this month. Not money to younger brother too. I am too broke. I have once again drain all of my cash before the new month has even arrived. Within one day, my salary is totally gone. I am following the advice of you people. I will not give any to anything else if I cant afford it. Fine. Then this is what I am doing

But I cant help to feel so frustrated and agitated when my parents messaged me a sms of someone's details. expecting that I know what the hell they are talking about. telling me to buy a over rm1000 air ticket for them.

I am just so agitated now. I am just so upset now. This is once-a-month thing. I hate it.