Held myself back

I nearly shouted at her. Nearly wanted to tell her that I dont want to do it anymore. Nearly wanted to tell her that she is getting very annoying.... But I didnt. I held in..

Must do something to make my luck turn better... Feel like everything is very bad at the moment...

Looking forward to this praying ritual thingy..going to be soon. I cant wait actually...

Talked to Grand Uncle this morning... Felt like I am the mat salleh speaking chinese. but I am speaking hokkien, a dialect that I should mastered but I didnt... Gosh... it was so weird...

Thought I am turning into an insomniac but I am getting sleepy so Good News!! Haha...

Fudge!!

Contrary to what you might think... Fudge that I am saying is not the dessert type of fudge.... It is... FUDGE!!!

It is a replacement of another word... It just popped into my mind.

Anyways, the 'creature' I am saving now is almost recovered. I hope there will be no complication but... my senior told me that I will need to go into habitat of the 'creature.'

Geezz... Have to sit rigidly in a room full of people that I dont know and be really professional looking. I am already dreading it...

Why?!?!?

It seems like a lot of responsibilities are placed on to me....

Which reminds me of the incident on Friday. I am quite pissed off by it. I was already rushing thru this 'save the creature' project and yet this more-senior-than-me person told a junior to come and tell me to help the junior to attend a client. I was immediately confused because CAN'T SHE SEE THAT I AM RUSHING THS PROJECT? WHAT HAPPEN TO THE OTHERS? CANT THEY ATTEND THE CLIENT. I AM RUSHING A PROJECT THAT IS DUE THIS FUDGING MONTH. WHAT DUE DATE IS THE OTHERS RUSHING MONTH? FUDGING APRIL AND JUNE. WHICH IS MORE URGENT? MINE OR THEIR. SO FUDGING STUPID!

Fine... I attended the client. FUDGE! Damn long-winding client. SHE THINKS SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS WORKING IN B. AND NOT EARNING WELL BECAUSE B.'S ECONOMY IS NOT DOING WELL. Told her that she can go and make a cheaper travelling pass and she told me that it is too risky and all the other shit talk. Gave a lot fudging shit talk that I wish I can slap her and tell her to fudging grow up and be her own age.

Argh... As someone who is more senior than I am, should she be more aware of the fact that my project is so much urgent than the rest that I need to be given the time to do it instead of telling me to attend such client who wasted one hour of my time.

OHMIGOSH... I AM SO FUDGING PISSED OFF.

Saving the creatures

I feel like I have been placed in a position whereby I have to be the saviour. I am not trying to say that as if I am being very godly or nice or anything good... It is a strain to me.

I cant exactly say out what I am facing... so I am characterising that this thing is called little creatures...

There are a few troubled creatures... Messed-up creatures... Somehow, I always end up being the one saving these creatures... Cleaning them up... Making them ok... So far, I think I have saved quite a few. Somehow, I feel like the others arent doing the same as I am... Those that does the same are still in the mid process and doesnt seems to be progressing at all. I dont know if not progressing at all is good or progressing quickly like mine is better...

Frustration.

Then... I feel like I am losing my purpose of life again. I am forgetting what are my goals. I feel so upset and... I dont know. I am getting too weird nowadays.

Down

Been busy lately... Busy with work... And still feel like there isnt enough time.

Sort of feeling very down now.. Actually I have anticipated that Mum will disapprove. I know that she thinks that I travel to KL too much though I dont think I have gone there that often. Total time of me being in KL is only four? Four times... Not much what...

I know I should be saving money... for whatever reason. I really have no idea how I can drain all of my cash each month... Even now, when it is just mid of the month, I am already almost out of cash... The cash I have with me isnt exactly mine... Hmm... I do believe that my final portion of bonus is coming out in April... Cant wait for it... then there is the overtime pay...

Argh... Maybe I shouldnt have agreed to buying such an expensive digital camera... It totally drained me...Regrets...

Feel so demotivated now...

Ill again

It seems to be a trend each year. Year 2006 was the year I kept getting food poisoning. Three food poisonings to be exact. Then year 2007 was the year I had pretty bad cases of headache. Year 2008 started with me getting ill from different illnesses such as fever, flu, cough etc.

Really need to be more healthy... But... life is getting more busy for the first half of the year... my job requires a lot of time and so... I dont know how will I survive this year.

Perhaps I should persuade Mumsie to stock me with alfalfa wheatgrass tablets and vitamin C tablets.