Merdeka, Malaysia

Yea!! Though I dont really feel much patriotism in me... Haha...

I dont think got my size le

So frustrated.

I dont know if it is because it is just not my style or my inferiority complex.

I like single colour motif and despise multi pattern motif. I cant admire clothes with a lot of flowery flowery patterns on them... dont know why....

I want to get something that can be worn to smart casual dinner but... I just cant see anything to buy le. I feel so bloated in those shops. I keep on seeing myself as a very fat and unflattering.

Damn... Got to get this mentality out of my head fast

Inability To Accept New Idea

Suddenly remember about the time I attended a workshop about life.

Oh! Diversion from topic... I also suddenly remember the dress this girl is wearing. It is so cute. although it is colourful, it is so nice la.. Err... Looks good on her... :P

Anyways... I guess because I am already out working and I am content with what I have at work, the idea about been successful in life that means having extreme motivation and drive is neccessary. Err... Ok.. Like I have just said, I am content with what I am doing. So, I guess I have the drive and motivation in my job liaw so... I dont think by shouting out like a madman means I will succeed... Dont understand why some people actually go so emotional and cry... And why my seating have to be so near to the speaker. Then, the people in my group actually thinks I am so brave to step up first. Haha... I am not brave. I just know in my heart that this group of youngster doesnt have the guts to step up so dont waste time la... I will do it la.. Haha...

Then... I admit I was disappointed that my parents didnt come and tap my shoulder during that supposingly emotional time... Sigh... To hear so many other participants has their family with them... I guess I will probably be even more disappointed if the workshop has been a camping overnight workshop and the participants only get to see their family after two days. Luckily, it is not. Phew...

Taking a risk

Each time I have a 'deep' conversation with her, I have a sense of taking a risk. Risk of been uncovered.

I try to remind myself that I should not be too straight-forward. Too honest. Too open.

What if it back-fires on myself?

I hope not. I really hope not.

Fear

I have fear... I have fear of car accidents, cutting myself, death... Things that can lead to death...

Imagine myself losing control of the car and crash into another car.

Imagine myself cutting my finger when using a knife.

Imagine... urgh.. I am scared of all these imaginations...

Damn...

I play with 80% luck, 20% skill

Rummy. According to Wikipedia, it is spelled as Rummy, not Rami.

When I play rummy, I play and I depend on my luck. No skill or technique unless someone points it out to me.

Like that time, Hling told me that she knows what tiles I have by how I will move the tile whenever a new tile is introduced to the open table. So, from that time onwards, I no longer move my tiles around and put on my poker face each time the game is on.

Sigh...luck is not enough la... I need to pick up more techniques and skills if i want to win in rummy le...

Change of habit

I remember when I was not so little... I guess it was a few years back... When I was still in secondary school... Dad brought us all to eat at Japanese Restaurant. I am not sure if it is Excapade but we sat in the private room. After eating, Dad told us that this is a once in a LONG while treat 'cause japanese food is quite expensive. I still remember how much it cost at the time. About B$60.

Now... hehe... Everytime I go back to Brunei, surely will go to Excapade... It is no longer a once in a long while thing anymore.... It is becoming a norm.

Mum loves to eat japanese food. I think her Japan trip make her more appreciative of Japanese food. She is quite picky that she thinks Miri's japanese food is horrible. Hehe...